


Pleading Eyes

by CocosCocoaPuffsAreNotForSale



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Happy Ending, Protective Dean Winchester, Reader-Insert, Self-Harm, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-18
Updated: 2016-09-18
Packaged: 2018-08-15 16:10:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8063053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CocosCocoaPuffsAreNotForSale/pseuds/CocosCocoaPuffsAreNotForSale
Summary: Possible triggers! You have been hunting with Sam and Dean for years. But you make mistakes often causing you to hurt yourself. What happens when Dean finds out about what you've been doing to yourself.For more stories please follow me on Tumblr@cocos-cocoapuffsarenotforsale





	

**Author's Note:**

> You are important! If you ever feel worthless please talk to someone! It's ok to need help. It's ok to talk to people.
> 
> For more stories please follow me on Tumblr@cocos-cocoapuffsarenotforsale

“Y/N! YOU COULD’VE GOTTEN YOURSELF KILLED!” Dean shouted as you walked into the Bunker. You had been hunting a vamp nest near Lebanon with the guys and you jumped the gun. You would’ve been dead if not for Dean and Sam.

“I know!” You shout back trying to hold the tears back. You practically run down the hallway to the bedroom you share with Dean.

“Don’t walk away from me!” He shouts chasing after you. You run into the bedroom and lock the door. “Baby. Please I’m sorry. I just don’t want you to get hurt.” He mutters outside the door. You grab a knife from your top dresser drawer before darting into the bathroom. You slam the door shut before collapsing with your back against it.

You slowly roll up the sleeve of your flannel to see all the scars that line your wrists. You feel the silent sobs rack through your body. You slowly drag the knife across your wrist calming as the blood starts to show. 

After you finish you put a band aid on your wrist to help stop the bleeding. You roll your sleeves back down to try and hide the band aid and the previous scars. You walk to the bedroom door and open it to find Dean sitting on the other side of the hallway with his face in his hands.

“De?” You ask sitting down next to him. He slips his hands down and looks up at you with tear stains glistening on his cheeks.

“I’m sorry.” He chokes out before pulling you onto his lap and nuzzling his face into your neck.

“It’s fine De. I’m sorry I ruined the hunt.” You say running your hand through his soft hair.

“You didn’t ruin anything baby. But I would like it if for the next few hunts you stuck to research. Please.” He whispers running his strong, warm hands up and down your back gently.

“Of course De.” You whispered mentally kicking yourself. Of course he didn’t want you hunting you always put him and Sammy at risk. You were more of a liability than a help.

“I shouldn’t have yelled at you baby girl. I’m sorry.” He says pressing a soft kiss to your messy hair.

“No it’s my fault I screwed up and Sammy got hurt. I deserved it.” You whisper the last part hoping he might not hear it but of course Dean being Dean he heard it. He leans back holding your arms tightly with his hands.

“No you didn’t. You made a mistake it happens. You didn't deserve to be yelled at and I’m sorry.” He says pressing a hard kiss to your forehead.

“You never make mistakes and neither does Sammy.” You murmur. Dean pulls you in for a tight hug.

“We always make mistakes just not when you're there. I’m always hyper alert when your around because I know I need to protect you. Sammy protects you too. The only reasons we rarely make mistakes are you. I can’t have you getting hurt baby girl.” The last part comes out as more of a growl before Dean presses his soft tender lips against yours. You feel yourself melt into his touch.

After you pull away Dean looks at you sharply in the eyes, cupping your face between his hands. “We got a hunt tomorrow. You in?” He asks.

“I thought I wasn’t allowed to hunt?” You ask with a smile.

“Doesn’t mean you can’t come along. We could always use the help with research.” He chuckles.

“Sounds like a plan. When do we leave?” You ask feigning delight.

“First thing tomorrow morning. Now how about we have a little fun before we’re stuck with Sammy for a week?” He suggests with a smirk. You smile back to him before you remember the band aid. He sees your smile turn to a frown and takes it the wrong way.

“Baby are we okay? You haven’t let me touch you in almost a month. Did I hurt you or something?” He inquires with tears in his eyes. You suddenly realize how you must have made him feel. How could he ever doubt himself? You were the problem here not him.

“No De that’s not it. It’s not about you baby. It’s me. I just-” You're cut off as a large sob runs through your body. Dean pulls you onto his lap again and tries to calm you but it does nothing. 

Your sobs finally stop as you fall into sleep. Though your still hiccupping when Dean carries you into bed. He doesn’t understand why you're upset with him what could he have possibly done to hurt you so bad?

 

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The Next Morning

“Y/N? Come on baby girl wake up Sammy’s ready and the cars loaded.” You feel Dean shaking your shoulder slightly as you wake up. You come face to face with his green eyes before turning away from his piercing gaze.

“What about my bags?” You ask rubbing your eyes as you walk to the bathroom. You start brushing your teeth as Dean walks in behind you and wraps his arms around you from behind.

“I already packed them for you they’re in the car.” He says placing a tender kiss to your neck.

“Thanks.” You say as you put your toothbrush and toothpaste in a bag with your other toiletries. You walk out with Dean hand and hand to the impala. He opens the back door on the driver's side and you slid in. Sam’s already in the passenger seat and Dean hops in before the engine roars to life and he pulls out of the bunker garage.

 

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Once you arrive at in Cool Springs it’s obvious the long sleeves were a mistake but you know you can’t take them off without the guys noticing the band aid or the scars.

“Y/N aren’t you sweating. It the middle of July and we’re in Texas. How the hell are you wearing a long sleeved shirt and jeans?” Sam asks you as you walk into the motel room.

“I’m not hot.” You lie setting your bag next to Dean’s on the bed you were to share. Dean and Sam both shoot you questioning looks.

“You feeling ok babe?’ Dean asks you walking across the room and laying a hand on your forehead.

“Baby girl you're sweating. Here put on my t-shirt I know shoved some shorts in your bag for you.” Dean says handing you an old Led Zeppelin t-shirt. You shake your head.

“No.” You say throwing it back at him. You run into the bathroom with tears streaming down your face.

“Y/N/N! Please open up! Talk to me baby.” You hear Dean plead from the other side of the door.

“I’m fine.” You snap immediately feeling guilty. 

“Fine then.” You hear him yell.

“Dean what’s going on with her?” You hear Sam question from the other side of the door.

“I don’t even know. Sammy she’s the one good thing in my life other than you of course. We haven’t well um you know been ugh I can’t believe I’m saying this but we haven’t been intimate in like a month.” Dean admits you feel your heart clench at his words. He thought you were a good thing. He was wrong but now you knew he was blaming himself about you being an awful girlfriend for him.

You take out the recently sharpened knife before rolling up your sleeves, tearing off your band aid and reopening the wound from last night.

You wince in pain before recovering it with the band aid. You roll your sleeve down before splashing some cool water on your face. Taking a few moments to get yourself together you walk into the motel room to find the brothers in deep conversation. When they hear you enter the room they turn around and their eyes immediately flash to your wrist and you see their eyes widen in horror.

“Baby girl c’mere.” Dean commands softly motioning for you to come sit by him.

You follow his command and climb onto his lap. Dean holds your arms with his hands and keeps you in front of him making you frown. He reaches down with his hands and rolls up your sleeve it’s then you realize how much you are bleeding. You try to pull away only to feel Sam’s hands holding your shoulders in place.

Dean gasps as he removes the band aid and sees how bad your bleeding. “Get the first aid kit Sammy.” Dean commands his eyes turning dark.

“Dean I-” You’re cut off by Dean’s harsh gaze.

“What happened?” He growl. “Who hurt you?” He asks as you feel a grumble roll through his chest.

“I did.” You mutter under your breathe as Sma returns with the kit. You scoot off Dean’s lap and Sam starts stitching you up.

“What do you mean?” He asks as he starts pacing back and forth.

“I’ve been cutting myself for about a month now. That’s why I haven’t had sex with you. I didn't want you to see the marks. I knew you would blame yourself.” You explain wincing slightly as Sam threads the needle through your skin.

“Because it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have let it get this far. I should have noticed something was up. I’m a horrible boyfriend. I made you hurt yourself and I didn’t even notice.” He says as he sits down on the bed and puts his head in his hands.

“Dean this isn’t your fault. I’m not good enough for you guys. I never have been. I always mess up on hunts, put you and Sammy in danger. I need to punish myself that’s why I do it. The pain it helps.” You admit looking down at your hands. You hear both of the boys inhale sharply as Sam continues to stitch you up. When he’s finished he stands up and puts the things from the first aid kit away.

“I’ll give you guys some time.” He says shifting awkwardly from foot to foot before exiting the room.

“Dean look it’s not big deal ok. I just-” You're cut off as Dean’s scoops you up into his arms and presses a hard kiss to your lips before sitting down on the bed with you curled up in his arms.

“Yes it is a big fucking deal. I need you. I need you safe and healthy. You hurting yourself is neither. I can’t lose you too, I’ve lost enough already. Y/N you are the most important thing in the world. You and Sammy are all I have. Y/N I need you to be ok.” He says burying his face in your neck. You run your hands through Dean’s hair trying to calm him, he leans into your touch needing to reassure himself that you're safe.

“Ok.” You croak out feeling yourself getting all choked up at his admission.

“I’m gonna be watching you. Closely. No more hunts for you not until we get this under control. If you need to we can find someone for you to talk to baby girl. I just need you to be ok.” He says as his piercing green eyes fill with tears.

“Ok can I just talk with you for now though. I don’t wanna talk to anyone else De.” You whimper as your eyes fill with tears.

“You don’t need to princess. I’m here. I’m here and I will keep you safe even from yourself.” He vows placing a soft kiss to your lips.

“I love you Dean Winchester.” You say as the two of you break apart. 

“I love you too Y/N Y/L/N.” Dean whispers as he lays you down on the bed. He hovers over you and pulls you in for a hard long kiss. You fall into each other that night and never let go of each other.


End file.
